Finishing my mental health nursing degree

 

In the last couple of months, I have experienced such a whirlwind of emotions which has led me to do a lot of reflecting and reminiscing of everything I have been through during my studies and prior to commencing them. I am the very proud owner of a first-class honours degree in mental health nursing. My achievements span way more than those obtained academically, however. Numerous people have supported me along this challenging and arduous journey and many of those understand the extent of what I have endured and overcome to be in the position I am in now, namely my family, friends and academic advisor. They have been there for me throughout the highs and lows, of which there has been plenty. They got me through the days when I did not think I could keep going.

 

Throughout my degree I was constantly plagued by a voice that told me I could not do it. An inner critical voice that consistently berated me, voicing that I was worthless, useless and a fool to think that I could ever be a mental health nurse. Of course I was not clever enough to be at a Russell Group University undertaking a degree which was so academically and emotionally challenging. My self-doubt and lack of self-belief was clearly identified by many who tried hard to instil confidence within me. They saw no evidence to suggest those critical voices were spouting any truths about me or my abilities. I could not accept this however as I was still overwhelmed by the intensity of that critical voice that had controlled me for so long.

 

As I progressed along the course, I did begin to develop self-confidence. I figured that I had gotten so far and therefore must be doing something right. Academically I was performing well, and I always had very good feedback from practice so maybe that inner critic is lying to me. I never doubted my passion, however. My determination to make a difference kept me going and I had belief that I had the insight, understanding, experience and knowledge to truly make a difference. My difficult past has developed me into a very empathic human being who can relate to the pain and distress experienced when living with a mental illness.

 

Unfortunately, I became unwell at the beginning of my third year and had to interrupt my studies, however this turned out to be the best decision I could have made. I have written about this in another blog. I cannot explain how or why but I returned to recommence my third year with a renewed feeling of self-confidence and an increased determination to succeed. Maybe I needed that time away to reflect and reset. I acknowledged in that period of interruption that I was contributing to my own struggles by not taking care of myself both physically and mentally. I knew that I needed to bring about change if I was to finish my degree and become a mental health nurse. I accepted then that I had the right beliefs, values, knowledge and confidence to succeed, and it was only going to be me that would sabotage it. I learnt some hard lessons and heard some harsh truths but it triggered change and so I will be forever grateful for them.

 

Now I have completed my degree the overwhelming feeling I have been experiencing is pride. I finally feel like I have achieved something and have something to bring to the world. It is such a wonderful feeling. I never saw myself as a particular ambitious person, probably because I did not have faith in my abilities however, I now have high hopes for my career including further study and ambitions to be a nurse researcher and educator one day. I never could have imagine feeling this way now at the start of my degree. The best bit of advice I can give to student nurses is to seek support when you need it. It often does not end well if you try struggling on alone. Speak to your lecturers and colleagues in practice as I can assure you, there will be people who want to help. Asking for help is in no way a personal failure or a sign of weakness. Having that self-awareness and an understanding of when you need support demonstrates professionalism which is hugely important as a nurse.